Phone unsex

Had a 2 1/2 hour conversation with Andrew on the phone. It was enlightning and disheartning at the same time. I finally got the answers I've been needing. But I also finally got him to say that he can't be with me right now and doesn't know when he can. He understands why I can't be friends. It's for the very same reasons he can't date me again. It's an awful scenario.

I love him. He loves me. And we are destined not to be.

I miss him greatly. I try to fill his space with other men and it doesn't work. I try to fill my thoughts with other things and it doesn't work. He still has my everything.

We finally agreed that he and I could not be any more opposite if we tried, surface opposites and mental/emotional opposites. White and Black, Female and Male, Able Bodied and Disabeled, Young and Old, Space Cadet and Observational, Reading and Cars, Inexperienced/Naive and Experienced, the list goes on and on. How we even became friends in the first place amazes me.

I love him now as I did when we were in the fabulous honeymood period of our relationship. However, moving on is still going on. I never stopped moving on from him, from our relationship.

I went over some of the schools I chose with my parents this weekend. I am still waiting for more information from there. I am planning a couple more trips for this fall/winter. I am trying to get into a class at work. I am working on a number of projects. Life moves on, just without Andrew and I being Andrew and I.