I want to cut my hair. I want to tattoo my skin blue. I feel this urge inside to do something different. I don't know what it is, but it has been nagging at me for weeks now. I want to do something interesting, something different, something out of the ordinary and out of character, and I can't think of that THING. It eats at me. I don't know how to satifsfy that urge, that need. I don't think cutting my hair will solve things and will just irritate me. I really don't want to be a Smurf, though they had Communism/Socialism down pat, I don't think I'd get to meet Papa Smurf. Even though, I'd want to date him if I could. He's got that sexy old man thing working for him.
Sigh, sigh, and sigh again. What is this feeling? Do others have it? Yet, I can't make myself get up from this chair, leave this apartment to seek out this THING. Partly, because I am not sure if that thing is found outside of here or inside of me. I want to create, I want to destroy, I want to be art. What do others do when they have this feeling? That you want to crawl out of your skin and bones, and be liquid. That you want to slither along the floor and see the world from a new place, a new form, without walls and boundaries.
Maybe I need to run. Maybe ride. Maybe... really think hard?
Is there calamine lotion for the mind?
2 comments:
First, GREAT writing!!! Second, I get that itch all the time. It may be why I had a hard time in college, had to go to photography school, had to be a nanny far from home and now have to move to another new place. I am not sure what I will do when the itch hits again, but I know it will because I have a spirit that likes to soar, not sit in one place forever. You will find that thing... and you will be coming out here soon, which may help your itch.
You want to do something REALLY out of character? Something new, something different? Go to church!
Well, maybe it won't be for you. But you know you left yourself wide open of that one, right?
I hope you find it. (I think I did.)
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