MENtal suits

I was reading Artemis's sister's blog and one of the comments indicated a website called www.dooce.com. The entry mentioned was one on dealbreakers in a relationship, things that you find in, on, or around a man that would mean the end of the date or relationship for you. I read many of the comments and now feel the need to write an entry of mine own. Know this though, I once created a list of what a man had to be or not be in order to be acceptable for me to date him. The list has changed over the years and I suspect will change quite a bit more as I grow as a person and a woman. That's right. I am a woman. I enjoy being called "girl" but in reality I am a woman. So, it's time I admit it. :)

1. My previous list mentioned that men cannot like sports. This has been ammended and a man can like sports, I just prefer that he not be a fanatic about it. Say, it's Sunday and there's a game on, but there's also a family event, I want the man to think nothing of missing the game.

2. Aforementioned list included that a man cannot be religious. I find this unnecessary. As long as he belongs to a religion or spirituality that does not push its beliefs on other people and he is okay with my atheism and does not expect me to attend any meetings or services with him beyond weddings and funerals, it is okay.

3. He must be as tall or taller than I am. I tried the shorter thing and I didn't care for it.

4. I prefer that he be built like a linebacker: strong with muscles but covered in a layer of pudge.

5. I prefer dark hair and I like facial hair. I am not turned off by body hair, even back hair is fine. I'm a hairy girl and there's no reason for me to exclude some man for the very same issue that I have. I try my best to work with it though. I do my eyebrows, bleach things, pluck things, and hope for the best.

6. No Replicans, no pro-lifers, no anti-adoption men, no racists, no sexists, no homophobics.

7. I don't mind tattoos, piercings, weird hair, etc.

8. No men without jobs unless they are wealthy and don't have to work.

9. This is huge, no men who can't drive! I hate that.

10. Guys who don't introduce you to their friends and family are out, out, out.

11. No men who are mean to wait staff, animals, the environment (ie don't and won't recycle, litter, etc) .

12. No men who are dead-set on children. I have not made up my mind and don't want to be stuck with someone who insists on rugrats. However, I would insist on adoption if children are later desired.

That's the list for now. I realize that I should not and do not have to settle for someone who is less than great for me and with me. I watched Phat Girls with Mo'Nique today and I feel some of the very same issues her character Jazmin goes through. You're constantly looking for the guy to find someone better, someone THINNER, and leave you in the dust. And it's time to stop thinking that way. Men are accessories to life. They can jazz it up, but they aren't the whole outfit. You are the whole ensemble and you choose how to dress it.

So, ladies... choose well and wise. Make sure that your man is a worthy accessory. Don't let him detract from what you already have going on by yourself.