I read this, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/#114942490829092819, website every Sunday. My friend Artemis introduced me to it and now I am addicted. I was making a postcard to send in, but then decided that I am not sure that this secret should remain annonymous.
I think if people knew my secret they would understand a little more about me. My secret is not serious, it's not very funny, but it's a little weird. It leads back to when I was five and I made a vow. I vowed to marry a man of a different race. In doing so, I am discriminating against people of my own race: white men. I am usually very skeptical when hearing about reverse-racism, but I was five and didn't know that I was excluding anyone by making this vow.
However, my secret deals with this very vow and the topic of racism. I feel racist if I don't date black (or other men of color) men. I have felt awful for liking white men. I continue to feel badly if I like white men. Though, the feeling is fading, but ever so slowly. Thoughts come into my mind, if I do marry a white man then I have to adopt black children just to make up for the lack of color in the relationship. I must prove my acceptance of other people by excluding other people?
I am lost in this quandry.
2 comments:
I tried to fix the color of my text, but then it disappeared. So, enjoy the red and pink tones of it. :)
You like to compensate for the things we have done in the past (and sometimes still do) to other races, that is not unusual. I remember feeling that way after you and I watched "Higher Learning", we hated being white after that. I have always wanted to have children of different races (adoption, sperm bank, whichever), maybe it is for the same reasons, or that they are so damn cute. As for the color in your writing, you may have problems with your color like I do with my spaces, I can't do it. A little ironic that the color didn't work in this entry.
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