Brick Wall

I have decided to end things with Andrew. He will not answer the phone when I call, he will not return my calls. I take this as a declaration that he does not really care, that he cannot own up to his responsibility, and that frankly, he's weak. I've never thought of him as weak, oh quite the opposite, I thought he was so strong and tough willed. Now, I see him as he is... a middle aged man who does not have his life together. His apartment is appalling; it's filthy. He takes more care of his car than anything else. He can't manage his money. He doesn't cook. I wonder after all these months if his family doesn't shun him. He would not speak of his siblings unless I brought them up. He only talked of his mom and dad, two people whom are dead.

I do not regret the time I spent with him. It was a wonderful learning experience marked with some good times. However, I can also see how I let him treat me quite poorly sometimes. He used me. He knew how to play my emotions and he played them well. He's been a musician all his life. Makes me wonder if he didn't play all the other women in his life...

I would like my stuffed monkey, Jake, back-along with a few other things that I have at his place such as some of my baby photos. I need to return a couple of his t-shirts and anything else he'd like back. I can't think of what I have that wasn't given to me as a gift. I never gave him Jake as a gift. He was merely there to watch over Andrew when I was gone. I lent Jake to Andrew when he was ill for a brief while.

I tried, but now I'm done trying. As my mom said, it's time to focus on me.