Fast Forward

I went to my cousin's wedding today. It was simple but elegant. Another one of my cousin's will be graduating from college next week and does not know what he will be doing.

I feel old. To me these people have always been little kids. Trouble is, we're not little kids anymore. I am only two-five years older than they are. I can't imagine marrying someone today. I have no idea what I want to do for a career, I don't like my job but don't know what to move onto next.

Oh well, some people don't have life down to a formula and wander their whole lives. It makes them interesting, it gives them a diverse look at the world, and I think sometimes we are too often forced into being "something," this one thing so that it's easier for people to define us. They can say, "oh, you're a teacher" and put you into a category filled with other self-sacrificing, compassionate, people who like to shape and mold young minds, or they say, "A doctor, how nice" and think you're smart, want to help people more than your own pocket book, and that you enjoy what you do. For some reason, if you are in a profession, people assume you enjoy what you do, which is incorrect.

I may not enjoy my job, but I think it's mostly the people who bring it down. I don't hate any of the activities at work, even if they are excrutiatingly boring. I dislike the bad attitudes that go along with the work.

So, maybe my career will be to try on many hats, those hats I was afraid to try on when I was young. People don't seem to give you a chance to grow into anything nowadays. Bleh. I need a vacation.