Along with my mental maladies, melodies, diseases, what have you... I have diabetes (which they-the establishment, has increased my Wellbutrin dosage to 300mg a day and it's making me nauseated). I admit to having this disease, but for a long time now I really truly did not feel as if I have it. I am in denial. I do not test my blood as I need, I do not eat healthily, I do not watch my carbohydrates, and I do not exercise. On Monday, I started eating better. I know how to eat and I have done it before. I had so much energy when I did. I felt "good." Don't believe me? Touch me, baby. ;) You'll enjoy, I promise.
I never did get into exercise. It's just never been my thing, my cup of tea... I don't even like tea. It tastes like tree. I don't like coffee either, but sugar free grape kool-aid is fantastic. Though, it does make your poop bright green. However, that too can be a nice surprise! Back to exercise... well... maybe a start to exercise?
I have a weight-bench. I have weights. I have arms and legs, thus put four and machine together and... walla! Exercise. Yet I can't make myself do it. But I have not turned the weight bench into a clothing storage rack yet, so that must be progress. I have used it at least four times, but that's been about... three months ago. I do plan on buying a bicycle this weekend. One of those old-fashioned, 1950's strolling through the parks and meadowed lanes kind of bikes with big, wide seats for my large ass. Also, I think they are cool. My parents had red ones like that when I was a kid and I thought they were the greatest. My wish was to have them ride together on them, to be a lovey-dovey couple. Alas, another dream dashed and well, now I don't see my mom being able to ride a bike... In fact, she apparently can't even sit on a garden bench without falling off. My dad and I laughed at her, but my mom laughed hardest at herself. She takes it in stride. Will there be a day she can't stride? Sad to think.
I had thought about riding my bike to work, but my parents put the kabosh on that. I don't get off work until 11:30pm and they don't want me riding in the dark. Andrew said that he didn't mind that as much as me going to laundry-mats (what is a laundro anyway? and I tend to say laundry mats, may as well make my blog authentic) at 3am. I don't like it when it's busy and it's not busy at 3am. I'm just being practical. *grin*
So, we'll see if I can keep on track with the eating, to get on a track with exercise, and to take my meds everyday. That's another thing all together though. I hate having to take meds. Hate it, but I hate how I feel without them and part of me getting healthy, has to do with taking the mental health drugs as recommended by my physician. Because then, when mentally healthy I can tackle the physical health monster.
I saw the counselor. She's weird. I like it. I talked almost the whole time. I blurted shit out and felt no remorse. It was good. No lying. Just laying it all out- well some of it out, we only had an hour for goodness sakes.
1 comment:
I am glad things went well with the counselor. And good job on starting to eat healthy. As for exercise, start slowly. Maybe just go for walks, that is a good start. Walking can be as good for you as anything. I found that when I tried to start eating healthy and exercising at the same time, I failed. I needed to master one before I did the other. So this time around I did the eating healthy first and then 4 months later started the exercising. And this is the first time I haven't failed at either of them... yet. Just do your best to get healthy (both mentally and physically) so you can live a long life!
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