I complained on Wednesday because our small town did not have any water. They were making necessary repairs and while doing that, more things broke. Of course, you say. We had been warned that we wouldn't have water on Tuesday and by 7 O'clock that night, we had water coming out the pipes. Then, by 10 O'clock the same night, they were dry once more. The next morning they weren't on either and I had to shove off to work un-showered. I felt unawake all day, foggy and groggy. Showers are my morning coffee. I also felt greasy and gross. I am not one of those lovely girls who can wake up the next morning and look okay not showering, be okay not showering.
So, I went to work in my unshowered outfit. It's fine to choose not to shower one weekend day when I am not going to leave the house, but work? Bleh. So, I went. Then, while I was at work I took a peek at what was happening in the world by going to CNN's website. There, I see an article that is wrenching, is horrible that happens, that there is such a disparity. I am morbidly obese. I am fat- It's not a mean, cruel comment. It just is. And there are Zimbabwean women, mothers choosing which child will die by means of starvation. There is not enough food to feed them all, so they much choose which they thing will survive. In America, that's called murder. In Zimbabwea, that's called life.
If I could give up some of my caloric intake and know that it would go to someone in need, I would. In fact, I did. We had a food drive at work and I added my cans and boxes to the mix. Sadly, we cannot give fresh products and we wonder why those who are poor are heavy. Cheap food is unhealthy food. Ramen noodles are less than twenty cents a pack while apples are at least a dollar a pound. You choose.... you have a dollar and two kids at home. What do you buy?
Sadly, those women in Zimbabwea don't have a choice of food, just of which child dies. Sadly, I complained about no water, but I merely meant it in humor. I went home and showered off the filth as soon as I could as the weight came back on at noon on Wednesday. But I can't rinse away those women who must choose. It's sad that I am so entrenched in modern ammenities, I nearly didn't know what to do without the streaming liquid coming from the faucet. I really don't know what those women do to make that choice either, a much harsher reality than a few hours of the water being shut off.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Ms. Lister
Hello all,
No one seemed to care for my last entry so we'll make it a bit lighter. Not to mention, I'll be making a list, which everyone knows I adore!
1. What started out as a cute quirk, Norris the dog, likes to pick up shoes. At first, he just picked them up and put them in the middle of the living room. A wee bit dangerous, but endearing. Then, he started chewing on the plastic ends of the shoelaces. And then, oh and then..!! he chewed my leather boot. My boots may be about seven years old or so, but no one would have known. And now, at the top which no one sees but me or a few others is chewed. Naughty puppy.
2. However, it's still cute that he drug my two pound boot from the doorway to the living room considering the shoe only weighs three pounds less than he does.
3. I think I am becoming completely someone I never thought I would be... I asked for a complete spice rack for Christmas. I used to never even use salt or pepper and now I want a spice rack. Well, I still hate salt. It's gross for the most part. If I could have fries, nuts, chips, and other food products without salt I would, all except for soup. Soup is icky without salt. Ever tried the low salt chicken soup? Yeah, don't do it.
4. I went to see an endocrinologist and I do not have any weird, rare hormonal dieseases. This is good in some ways and bad in others. It means that I just have to live with the symptoms of Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. This diagnosis was confirmed.
5. I need new flooring in my house. Anyone want to chip in?
6. People don't seem to realize that The Boy is not my pet, not my child, or any other subordinate in the house. I cannot make him lose weight. I mean, really, we're focusing on overcoming leukemia. The weight loss will have to wait (ha ha ha) since he won't really lose enough to make a difference on his own anyway. That's the whole reason he has gastric bypass surgery planned/scheduled. Leukemia just put a speed bump on things. So, don't lecture me about how he should eat, he should try to lose weight, etc. I'm not his keeper.
7. The endocrinologist asked if I had ever thought about lap band surgery. I have but I don't know what I'd do as a "skinny" person. Eat less?! Ha ha. Not sure, I may consider it but not right now. We're still doing the leukemia dance.
8. Hurley is quite contented and spoiled living with my parents. She shall have many happy days there as it's her permanent home now.
9. Gagging is not fun, especially if it happens for nearly two weeks for reasons you can't figure out.
10. I had allergy testing done. I am allergic to cats, which is fine since I don't like them anyway. I am allergic to Red Alder trees, which is annoying in the spring time. I am also allergic to cockroaches. Odd since we generally don't have cockroaches in this part of the country, but he asked if I've ever been down south or to the coast, I replied yes to both. There go my plans for inner city living and a move to Georgia.
11. I dislike cookie cutter houses. They are icky.
12. I learned how to start our snowblower in case I have to use it this winter if The Boy is unable to do so. Wee! Watch out, or I'll blow you to the rooftops.
13. My grandmother is in the hospital again. She had a UTI that went to her blood.
14. My nun costume from Halloween is ungodly hot-get it?!
15. There's nothing else. I just didn't want to end it on a weird number.
No one seemed to care for my last entry so we'll make it a bit lighter. Not to mention, I'll be making a list, which everyone knows I adore!
1. What started out as a cute quirk, Norris the dog, likes to pick up shoes. At first, he just picked them up and put them in the middle of the living room. A wee bit dangerous, but endearing. Then, he started chewing on the plastic ends of the shoelaces. And then, oh and then..!! he chewed my leather boot. My boots may be about seven years old or so, but no one would have known. And now, at the top which no one sees but me or a few others is chewed. Naughty puppy.
2. However, it's still cute that he drug my two pound boot from the doorway to the living room considering the shoe only weighs three pounds less than he does.
3. I think I am becoming completely someone I never thought I would be... I asked for a complete spice rack for Christmas. I used to never even use salt or pepper and now I want a spice rack. Well, I still hate salt. It's gross for the most part. If I could have fries, nuts, chips, and other food products without salt I would, all except for soup. Soup is icky without salt. Ever tried the low salt chicken soup? Yeah, don't do it.
4. I went to see an endocrinologist and I do not have any weird, rare hormonal dieseases. This is good in some ways and bad in others. It means that I just have to live with the symptoms of Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. This diagnosis was confirmed.
5. I need new flooring in my house. Anyone want to chip in?
6. People don't seem to realize that The Boy is not my pet, not my child, or any other subordinate in the house. I cannot make him lose weight. I mean, really, we're focusing on overcoming leukemia. The weight loss will have to wait (ha ha ha) since he won't really lose enough to make a difference on his own anyway. That's the whole reason he has gastric bypass surgery planned/scheduled. Leukemia just put a speed bump on things. So, don't lecture me about how he should eat, he should try to lose weight, etc. I'm not his keeper.
7. The endocrinologist asked if I had ever thought about lap band surgery. I have but I don't know what I'd do as a "skinny" person. Eat less?! Ha ha. Not sure, I may consider it but not right now. We're still doing the leukemia dance.
8. Hurley is quite contented and spoiled living with my parents. She shall have many happy days there as it's her permanent home now.
9. Gagging is not fun, especially if it happens for nearly two weeks for reasons you can't figure out.
10. I had allergy testing done. I am allergic to cats, which is fine since I don't like them anyway. I am allergic to Red Alder trees, which is annoying in the spring time. I am also allergic to cockroaches. Odd since we generally don't have cockroaches in this part of the country, but he asked if I've ever been down south or to the coast, I replied yes to both. There go my plans for inner city living and a move to Georgia.
11. I dislike cookie cutter houses. They are icky.
12. I learned how to start our snowblower in case I have to use it this winter if The Boy is unable to do so. Wee! Watch out, or I'll blow you to the rooftops.
13. My grandmother is in the hospital again. She had a UTI that went to her blood.
14. My nun costume from Halloween is ungodly hot-get it?!
15. There's nothing else. I just didn't want to end it on a weird number.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
It's a Memory.
The time I spent working as an Americorps VISTA gave me a chance to see a world that I hadn’t experienced since elementary school. That world is called Poverty.
It’s not a place people wish to visit, it’s not a tourist destination anywhere, it doesn’t have fun rides or good food, and it’s not a place most people want to or think they will wind up. With the economic crises around the world, Poverty is going to become even more crowded than it already is.
Elementary school gives me a few memories of dirty faces, dirty clothes, mention of someone who didn’t have indoor plumbing (most likely because the water had been shut off), and a sense of making due.
Some of the kids I met while working as a VISTA have left permanent marks and memories. It was not their poverty that keeps them in mind. It is their spirits. It is they who keeps me thinking about them. They stick with me more than kids from high school, more than other student and professors in college.
It is how much they were themselves that still catches my thoughts. It was how they pretended to be nothing less and did not feel less, most of the time. You could catch those who were being broken down by their poverty. You could see it in their posture and in their eyes. They were hunched and ready to fight. Their eyes were angry and hateful, but so sad. They are the pennies, thrown in the garbage, those dropped on the streets and not picked up, those coins left behind because they aren't worth much. The tarnish shows on the children and pennies alike.
There are two in particular whom I hope for but am not sure hope will help. I hate to say too late, but it could have been for them. Brother and Sister, hungry for food, hungry for attention their mother cannot give. In need of clothes that fit, shoes that aren't falling apart and smelly, in need of some enormous tiny gestures of love.
There is the girl who is a boy. Her hair is short and often covered in a baseball cap. She wears boys baggy jeans, t-shirts, and plays with the boys. She has not a girly bone to her, it seemed. Yet, her name was that of a flower and she liked it. She could not stand being called a "He." She is someone I wonder about for she did not apologize for wanting the best of both worlds. She was tough for a tough world. She put forth her strength in short hair, in sports, in being masculine. Yet, she knows she's a girl and doesn't deny it. She merely hides it so she is not so vulnerable.
So, what becomes of them? I don't know and I shall probably never know. Except for one. I expect great things from her. I hope she is one of those Cinderella stories on Dateline one night. Rags to Riches, by using her brain and her kindness. I want to see her on tv campaigning for her next election. She could bring all kinds of worlds together, that girl.
It’s not a place people wish to visit, it’s not a tourist destination anywhere, it doesn’t have fun rides or good food, and it’s not a place most people want to or think they will wind up. With the economic crises around the world, Poverty is going to become even more crowded than it already is.
Elementary school gives me a few memories of dirty faces, dirty clothes, mention of someone who didn’t have indoor plumbing (most likely because the water had been shut off), and a sense of making due.
Some of the kids I met while working as a VISTA have left permanent marks and memories. It was not their poverty that keeps them in mind. It is their spirits. It is they who keeps me thinking about them. They stick with me more than kids from high school, more than other student and professors in college.
It is how much they were themselves that still catches my thoughts. It was how they pretended to be nothing less and did not feel less, most of the time. You could catch those who were being broken down by their poverty. You could see it in their posture and in their eyes. They were hunched and ready to fight. Their eyes were angry and hateful, but so sad. They are the pennies, thrown in the garbage, those dropped on the streets and not picked up, those coins left behind because they aren't worth much. The tarnish shows on the children and pennies alike.
There are two in particular whom I hope for but am not sure hope will help. I hate to say too late, but it could have been for them. Brother and Sister, hungry for food, hungry for attention their mother cannot give. In need of clothes that fit, shoes that aren't falling apart and smelly, in need of some enormous tiny gestures of love.
There is the girl who is a boy. Her hair is short and often covered in a baseball cap. She wears boys baggy jeans, t-shirts, and plays with the boys. She has not a girly bone to her, it seemed. Yet, her name was that of a flower and she liked it. She could not stand being called a "He." She is someone I wonder about for she did not apologize for wanting the best of both worlds. She was tough for a tough world. She put forth her strength in short hair, in sports, in being masculine. Yet, she knows she's a girl and doesn't deny it. She merely hides it so she is not so vulnerable.
So, what becomes of them? I don't know and I shall probably never know. Except for one. I expect great things from her. I hope she is one of those Cinderella stories on Dateline one night. Rags to Riches, by using her brain and her kindness. I want to see her on tv campaigning for her next election. She could bring all kinds of worlds together, that girl.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
There is a contest going on at work: The Biggest Loser. It is a la the style of the television show and I have entered. I've always been a big girl. Taller, thicker, broader than the rest. Now, I feel just flabby. So, hopefully this will motivate me to start working on the healthy lifestyle.
Also, The Boy's sister gave us an elliptical machine. Those suckers really give you a work out and you can go fowards or backwards on them. This allows for a unique workout and lets you work muscles you didn't know you had. So, maybe I'll become just a little smaller, a little less broad, and more toned.
I don't dream of being a waif or even a size ten. My body is not meant to be that small. I just want to be healthier. It's such an easy statement to make, but such a hard action. Habits are easy to make, but hard to break. It should be interesting to see how it goes. I don't think I've ever really tried very much to lose weight. I did it twice on accident, one by working at a hotel as a maid and the second time by pooping out everything I ate. That was an easy twenty pounds. :o) Not enjoyable, but easy.
So, wish me luck.
In other news!!!! One of my very good friends had her baby, a girl! I find it funny that she has a daughter now since Mommy used to have the name of Vicky-not-a-girl-girl. How things change. Also, another friend is now living in Montana, which has been her dream for a couple of years now. And she found a new job. So, it's excitement all around.
My excitement... I killed a bird while driving this morning. It flew right into my hood. I watched it in the rearview mirror, spin beak over claws until it slapped down on the road of the interstate. Sad.
Also, The Boy's sister gave us an elliptical machine. Those suckers really give you a work out and you can go fowards or backwards on them. This allows for a unique workout and lets you work muscles you didn't know you had. So, maybe I'll become just a little smaller, a little less broad, and more toned.
I don't dream of being a waif or even a size ten. My body is not meant to be that small. I just want to be healthier. It's such an easy statement to make, but such a hard action. Habits are easy to make, but hard to break. It should be interesting to see how it goes. I don't think I've ever really tried very much to lose weight. I did it twice on accident, one by working at a hotel as a maid and the second time by pooping out everything I ate. That was an easy twenty pounds. :o) Not enjoyable, but easy.
So, wish me luck.
In other news!!!! One of my very good friends had her baby, a girl! I find it funny that she has a daughter now since Mommy used to have the name of Vicky-not-a-girl-girl. How things change. Also, another friend is now living in Montana, which has been her dream for a couple of years now. And she found a new job. So, it's excitement all around.
My excitement... I killed a bird while driving this morning. It flew right into my hood. I watched it in the rearview mirror, spin beak over claws until it slapped down on the road of the interstate. Sad.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Fundraiser
Eric Lutheran
September 27th
In July, fellow pool player, and all around
great guy, Eric Lutheran, was diagnosed
with Acute Promyelocytic Luekemia.
Eric and Amber have been fighting this
disease and its many complications in
Rochester, and Grand Forks. Eric has
recently received the great news that
his Luekemia is in remission. Eric has
been out of work since being diagnosed,
and will continue to have many travel
and medical expenses.
BROKEN DRUM
Sign up from noon to 1:00 pm start
Field must close at first 32 players
Entry fee $15.00
($5.00 goes directly to benefit)
If you are unable to shoot,
please stop by and join in the fun!
Many great
door prizes & raffles
Fun!
Friends!
& Food!
A huge thank you to all
who have contributed :
Broken Drum Cenex 32nd & Demers
TJ’s Pool Hall Holiday Inn
KC Club Americ Inn
I.F. Lafleur & Sons FedEx Kinkos
Slapshot Pizza
If you are interested in getting involved further by
donating a prize for raffle, or food item for lunch,
please contact John Lutheran at 218-779-4802
for
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Hair We Go
It's Saturday and I long for a shower. For some reason, sleeping in hospitals makes me feel extra dirty. Perhaps it's the germs floating around in the air or because I am seeing other people than just Eric or myself in the mirror. Why does short hair make you look like such a monster after sleeping? And why do movies never portray the short hair syndrome? It's stick up all over and makes odd shapes in the back of your head. If you didn't look mutant before, you sure do after sleeping with short hair. Guys usually don't have this issue since some how they look cute with hair sticking up all over. Not sure why that is. Must be something testosterone does.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Scribbles
I received high praise the other day from two women my dad used to work with before he retired. They read the Caring Bridge site for Eric and because of my small posts and updates there, they believe I should be a writer. My dad also fell into agreement with them because of some papers I'd written in college.
Well, now. How about that? It's something I've always wanted to be, a writer, a professional. However, I lack ideas. I read novels frequently and never identify with the main characters. I am not sure if that makes me so strange or if the main characters in American fiction today are so off base that we all sit there going... Who DOES that? Maybe it's just me and I am too fussy for my own good.
I also talked to a doctor the other day who was impressed with my medical knowledge and thought I ought to give med school a try. Or nursing school since I can finish that so much faster than med school. Perhaps I shall be the next Cook or something. I can write all kinds of horrible medical mysteries. Or, hell stick to real life. It seems more interesting lately than any fiction I've read.
I've come more and more to realize that marriage is not something I need to have or want. It just seems so much more complicated than it needs to be. Who knows, I could change my mind the minute that sparkly ring appears out of its box. Mind you, there is no box and no sparkly ring, it was just a thought.
Well, my knee hurts and precludes me from typing any more. I do not type with my knees, but I am special so knee pain means that this entry is over. Not that anyone reads this anyway. However, I enjoy putting "down" in cyberspace.
Well, now. How about that? It's something I've always wanted to be, a writer, a professional. However, I lack ideas. I read novels frequently and never identify with the main characters. I am not sure if that makes me so strange or if the main characters in American fiction today are so off base that we all sit there going... Who DOES that? Maybe it's just me and I am too fussy for my own good.
I also talked to a doctor the other day who was impressed with my medical knowledge and thought I ought to give med school a try. Or nursing school since I can finish that so much faster than med school. Perhaps I shall be the next Cook or something. I can write all kinds of horrible medical mysteries. Or, hell stick to real life. It seems more interesting lately than any fiction I've read.
I've come more and more to realize that marriage is not something I need to have or want. It just seems so much more complicated than it needs to be. Who knows, I could change my mind the minute that sparkly ring appears out of its box. Mind you, there is no box and no sparkly ring, it was just a thought.
Well, my knee hurts and precludes me from typing any more. I do not type with my knees, but I am special so knee pain means that this entry is over. Not that anyone reads this anyway. However, I enjoy putting "down" in cyberspace.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Oregon Trail
Today, I bought a shop-vac. This purchase has a purpose other than sheer desire. Our washing machine leaks out the bottom of it. It's sitting inside a plastic tray, but the water is also sitting in the plastic tray. It's quite gross looking. So, I am going to suck up the water. Then, I am going to vacuum my car with it.
Maybe with a vacuum in hand and at-hand, I'll be more apt to keep my car clean. Somehow I doubt this, but there is always room for change. Just like those ideas in my head that some day I'll exercise, be healthier, eat right, and will change the world by being more in the world.
My world is small at the moment. It's amazing how small one's world because when something happens. The wagons do circle and they block out other parts of the world at times. They shade you from the burning issues of life while you focus on your compadre, they water your garden of love and trust by listening to you cry in the night, and they slowly wheel themselves apart allowing the world to come back to you slowly, so seeing what's behind the covered wagons isn't a shock.
Slow the white sea is parting and the pioneers donning their caps and bonnets, ready to wish me a farewell.
Maybe with a vacuum in hand and at-hand, I'll be more apt to keep my car clean. Somehow I doubt this, but there is always room for change. Just like those ideas in my head that some day I'll exercise, be healthier, eat right, and will change the world by being more in the world.
My world is small at the moment. It's amazing how small one's world because when something happens. The wagons do circle and they block out other parts of the world at times. They shade you from the burning issues of life while you focus on your compadre, they water your garden of love and trust by listening to you cry in the night, and they slowly wheel themselves apart allowing the world to come back to you slowly, so seeing what's behind the covered wagons isn't a shock.
Slow the white sea is parting and the pioneers donning their caps and bonnets, ready to wish me a farewell.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Some days I am just tired and weird, little things annoy me.
Here is a list of what has been bugging me lately.
1. Celebrities and how much they date/sleep around. It's just gross not to mention I frankly don't care who Reese Witherspoon is eating dinner with at the last hotspot.
2. People who cannot accept their bodies as they are and don't understand acceptance when they hear it. I am fat. This is not mean. I am. I weight 265 pounds and am 5'8". That makes me fat and it's okay. It's the way I am, it's about the way I've been since the second half of seventh grade. I do not plan on being smaller, toned, taut. That's okay.
3. I can't make The Boy do anything he doesn't want to... I am not his keeper, I am not his mother. So, stop trying to see if I can talk him into something.
4. I am tired of being poor. It's irritating and I don't understand how other people in similar situations do not struggle as we do. Maybe I'll blame it on the celebrities.
5. My car is messy... it's like a digusting dive bar you hate going to but once you're in there, it's not too bad.
6. I don't like not being in the loop. I want to know what's going on, want to help if there's something for The Boy, wants to be a part of it in some way instead of being shut out.
7. I cannot stand some attitudes I've recently noticed... this is new a notion to me, but it's just standing out more.
8. This list... so I shall end it.
So, life is moving along. Eric is doing okay and is continuing his treatment for leukemia. He was told he is in Remission last Tuesday, but still requires more treatment. He will have two more rounds of IV chemo and a few more weeks of oral chemo. But the Remission news was excellent. We celebrated with lunch and with the doctor's permission, Eric had two beers.
Here is a list of what has been bugging me lately.
1. Celebrities and how much they date/sleep around. It's just gross not to mention I frankly don't care who Reese Witherspoon is eating dinner with at the last hotspot.
2. People who cannot accept their bodies as they are and don't understand acceptance when they hear it. I am fat. This is not mean. I am. I weight 265 pounds and am 5'8". That makes me fat and it's okay. It's the way I am, it's about the way I've been since the second half of seventh grade. I do not plan on being smaller, toned, taut. That's okay.
3. I can't make The Boy do anything he doesn't want to... I am not his keeper, I am not his mother. So, stop trying to see if I can talk him into something.
4. I am tired of being poor. It's irritating and I don't understand how other people in similar situations do not struggle as we do. Maybe I'll blame it on the celebrities.
5. My car is messy... it's like a digusting dive bar you hate going to but once you're in there, it's not too bad.
6. I don't like not being in the loop. I want to know what's going on, want to help if there's something for The Boy, wants to be a part of it in some way instead of being shut out.
7. I cannot stand some attitudes I've recently noticed... this is new a notion to me, but it's just standing out more.
8. This list... so I shall end it.
So, life is moving along. Eric is doing okay and is continuing his treatment for leukemia. He was told he is in Remission last Tuesday, but still requires more treatment. He will have two more rounds of IV chemo and a few more weeks of oral chemo. But the Remission news was excellent. We celebrated with lunch and with the doctor's permission, Eric had two beers.
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